Conversation starters can be mind-boggling but what you say could be vital if you're trying to strike a meaningful connection.


In an article by the Cambridge graduate and award-winning science writer David Robson, he highlighted 5 key aspects to building better connections with other people. These are asking questions, creating empathy, using familiarity, going in deep and being honest.


So in this article, we will provide 32 flirty conversation starters that cover those 5 key aspects that can help increase your flirting success. So whether you're online dating or meeting up with someone in real life, we've got your back!



Ask Questions And Break The Ice


Icebreakers can be difficult, so why not try and ask a question instead. Asking questions can increase the likeability of a person when flirting. This was proven by an experiment done by professor Karen Huang that found when speed dating, people who ask more questions are more likely to elicit a date from their potential partners.


The important thing is not to be overly forward, be honest and try to ask something that's relevant to the person you are talking to. Some nice questions to use when starting a conversation with someone are:


If I could take you out right now, where would you want to go?
Have you ever been to X place in town? I really wanted to check it out. Let's do it together?
What do you like best in a guy? What's the most important quality you look for?
Which would you rather do together? Dinner and drinks, a movie, or a hike?
What do you like to do in your spare time? Maybe date me?
Guess what it is about you I’m so drawn to?
What type of person are you? Are you also looking for love?
Why did your parents name you x? Your name is lovely and it got me curious.


Brunette man in pink shirt and woman in white bustier smiling at each other while talking. Beach in the background.

Creating Empathy And Providing Good Conversation Starters


"Treat others as you like to get treated.", that's a quote we often hear right? But the way you like to get treated might be completely different to the next person. The important thing is to actually "treat others as they like to get treated.".


When flirting and providing flirty conversation starters, don't be empathetic in a way that you're trying to define what's important to that person. Instead, try to engage with the person by listening to how they think or feel, here are some examples of good conversation starters that show you care:


What makes an experience meaningful for you? Maybe we could have one!
You looked really happy in X photo, what made you smile like that at the time? I hope I can make you smile like that one day.
I want to make sure I understood what you said in your dating profile, you're looking for a relationship? What would make a happy relationship for you?
I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here to listen, so could you tell me more about yourself?
I have a feeling I could like you, I would like to get to know you better. Tell me though, how are you feeling right now?
You look really lovely, but I'm curious, what made you want to wear this dress.


Man standing next to a woman, who is sitting on a wooden pot next to him chatting and drinking coffee near a river.

Using Familiarity, One Of The Best Conversation Starters


It's a common mistake to think that people prefer originality rather than familiarity. But one of the best conversation starters is to actually try and familiarise yourself with the person. So don't be afraid to tell them something about yourself as a means of using icebreakers.


I have to warn you, my jokes are bad, they're dad jokes and I learned from the best, my dad haha, could I tell you one?
I love the smell of X, do you like that as well? Maybe we could go for one?
I love my nan, she thinks I'm good looking, but I think she's biased, what do you think?
Do you sometimes daydream about how things could be different depending on the choices we make or is it just me?
Sorry but I will leave this out in the open, I'm terrible when it comes to x. But I'm great when it comes to y. Do you think we have a chance?
Do you ever feel nervous on a first date? I do sometimes and I'm nervous now, but I have a good feeling about this.


Black haired man wearing white shirt flirting with a brown haired woman wearing glasses at their offices, both are smiling.

Being Yourself Is The Best Way To Woo A Woman


Numerous studies have concluded that people that had deeper conversations when first engaging with others ended up being more connected to each other. So why not use some of these conversation starters to do exactly that!


Do you think that in all acts of kindness there's a motive?
Sometimes I wonder if fate exists, maybe it's the result of our choices, what do you think?
Maybe it's fate we crossed paths?
I sometimes wonder if life is a dream, I think right now it is because I met you!
Sometimes I wonder if we love ourselves more in a virtual world and less in the real world.
What do you think?
What do you think is the difference between love and passion?


Blonde woman is having a conversation with a black haired man at their flower verandas. Both of them are holding coffee cups.


Be Honest, Be You


Some studies have suggested that people that concentrate on honesty are more likely to receive kindness in return. So why not try some conversation starters that are aimed at being honest and flirty at the same time, be honest and say why you're attracted to someone for example. If you find a woman you like, try complimenting her in a flirty way:


I really like women that know how to take care of themselves. I love your dress!
Nothing beats someone with good hygiene, you look like you have it down.
You're very pretty, I personally feel a bit ugly to even approach you. But I think I'm a nice guy, well that's what my mum says anyway haha.
You look like a person of intelligence, that's something I'm really attracted to. So I would really like to know you better.
Right now I'm smiling because I saw your photo when we matched. I would love to smile whilst talking to you though.
I was unsure whether to match with you because you didn't have any information on your profile. But you look nice, just something about you that drew me. I would love to get to know you.
You look great, I felt an immediate attraction so I would love to know you.


Sometimes all it takes is a little creativity, and if that’s not your forte, then there’s always honesty and character. At the end of the day, you can start a conversation any way you feel like, just make sure your opener cannot be taken the wrong way.


Choose one in our list above, or create your very own one. Try it out and see if someone is up for a little flirting with you!